So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
