In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
