Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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