I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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