I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
what's the appropriate greeting for someone whose bed you've had sex with someone else in?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
