That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
