she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
