Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Randomize