She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
Randomize
