Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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