so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
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