The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
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