Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
I'm trying to think of how to explain to the dentist tomorrow that I think I pulled my jaw muscle eating pizza while drunk.
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
