TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Randomize
