"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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