Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
Randomize