Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
