hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
