Can Purell be used as lube?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
