so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Randomize
