They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
