hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
