dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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