whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize