well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
The feeling are messing with the penis
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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