Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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