I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Im part way to drunk.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
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