Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
I shit you not. Dude complemented me for being meme savvy. You could drown a toddler in my panties right now.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
