totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
