I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
