i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
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