is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
Randomize
