a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize