wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
