Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
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