I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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