you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
someone snapchatted me a porn of two guys dressed up as pterodactyls double teaming a girl
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
