why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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