we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
