You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
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