I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
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