High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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