If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize