marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Randomize
