All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
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