About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Randomize
