I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
I woke up with a black eye and dim memories of announcing that i had super powers. I shoved my pockets full of canned tuna and tried to jump off the balcony. And then my boyfriend called the cops.
so you're not coming in to work today?
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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