well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
Randomize
