If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
