1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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