I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
