so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
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