Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize
