He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
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