I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Send help, water and tortillas.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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