I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Randomize