you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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