we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
