would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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