i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
