everyone is single if you try hard enough
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
